Letters..to whom. To you.

I have a letter to write, and maybe I have written it before. To: Someone. From: Someone. To no one. To you? A letter to you, but not from me. For whoever you need it to be. This is a letter. I am writing it, and reading it as well. To: Me. You have taken a part of me. Please return it. The stitches are tearing lose. I am a poor medic. Will you repair me? I am stained, bleached white, you stole my color. Wait. Please keep it. I will fill it elsewhere. Just stay. Stay at a distance. I am healing.... It's smaller now; the tear. You, my dear, won't make it through. You may go now. Thank you. From: You. No, from Me. I have buried my own burdens, I have buried you. Now is my time to dig. A letter; a simple reminder. I am my own builder.

Dreaming

I love the night. Every noise is hushed, each movement eloquently placed in the spaces of time. It is a magical space, perfect for dreaming. I prefer to dream before I sleep. It makes each goal thoughtful, every story piecing together reality and truth with fantasy; what wondrous places our minds can create. Close your eyes. Wait. Keep them open. Rem cycles, completing the phases. I hate waking up. I think I'll dream a bit longer.

Dare to be Scared

Recently I have come to realize how much emotion scares me. Not to a point where I am afraid to feel, but just enough to wish I would. This sounds negative, maybe a downward progression, rest assured it is not. Actually it is good, because it is real. This fear is true, it is complex and confusing. It makes me laugh to think God knew this would happen....the twisting and turning of hearts, and mangled relationships, the tears, the pain...and then imagining that through it all we find happiness. What a trip. Joy? That in itself is just as hard to dive into. The idea that we are worthy of affirmation, maybe true love. And then again it could all be a myth. No. Impossible. It is all real. Emotions: pain, shame, grief, bliss. Feel, Fear, Dare. Dare to be scared, even if it is just for a moment.