Converted by the eyes of every man, every women, every soul. Not one. He is neither soul nor blood, not spirit, but all that is combined into a single entity. Converted by my own eyes, consoled by His. Father: to be the sky which I look up to in awe yet cannot ever touch that which is shown to me. Son: this is my foundation. The ground that I walk on, felt in hand, sought out in wisdom. Sight, Touch, to really know. The Spirit: Holy in all ways, it is the wind. The air, and that which revives me. With each breath I take It in. Converted, I am made anew.

Just a Handful

A child sitting where the grass meets the sand. The air is filled with a harmonious humming of sounds, but she hears nothing. Her hand moves in waves across the dirt, and every now and again her head shakes her tightly bound curls from her face. They peak out from behind her ears trying to involve themselves in her tidious ordeal. I watch, just as invested. Her eyes pace, quickly, back and forth moving in rhythm with her elbows, and her wrists, which guide her delicate fingers one by one through the soil. She picks of a handful of sand. Is that just sand, or is that a pile of treasure? Could it be jewels, or coins, beads, or maybe a dozen sweet tarts. It is just a handful, or is it a full hand. One implies hardly anything while the other suggest nearly the greatest amount possible. Suddenly a bird fluttered down beside the young girl and in seconds her hands were empty and she was chasing after the squaking animal.. Just like that she had left what she had behind, interwined in the blades of grass. Maybe it was just sand, maybe it was something more... Just a handful.

The heart of time

On a day to day basis I sit and ponder whether what I say are rightfully said and if what I do holds significance. I wonder, is "here and now" okay? Today I took some time to think about the questions in which I always find time to ask but never have the time to answer. Oh the ties of time.... Once I was honest with myself though, I found that the time that I have in a day, the time I take to think, the time I take to act, it never changes. The equilibrium of the two may falter, yet the actually moments, every minute, the strike of every hour, it remains the same. 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, 60 seconds in a minute, and so the numbers flow by throughout the day. And so, this time that i have set aside to think has yet, always been, and still until today I had been unaware of it's existence. I believe it was due largely in part to the imbalance of the way that I was willing to process my thoughts. I tend to think with my heart rather than my head much of the time, and although I entrust my hands to practice that which I believe, I have always allowed the passion that I feel to take over both the teachings that guide my beliefs and the ways in which I distribute the thoughts that they provide me with. So, I am starting today on a knew note. I am starting a fresh page, a clean canvas, so that my mark of equality between what I know in my head, feel in my heart, and do with my hands, will not be lost amongst the paintings of yesterday. Whether it be in struggle or stride, today is a new day to move forward.

Letters..to whom. To you.

I have a letter to write, and maybe I have written it before. To: Someone. From: Someone. To no one. To you? A letter to you, but not from me. For whoever you need it to be. This is a letter. I am writing it, and reading it as well. To: Me. You have taken a part of me. Please return it. The stitches are tearing lose. I am a poor medic. Will you repair me? I am stained, bleached white, you stole my color. Wait. Please keep it. I will fill it elsewhere. Just stay. Stay at a distance. I am healing.... It's smaller now; the tear. You, my dear, won't make it through. You may go now. Thank you. From: You. No, from Me. I have buried my own burdens, I have buried you. Now is my time to dig. A letter; a simple reminder. I am my own builder.

Dreaming

I love the night. Every noise is hushed, each movement eloquently placed in the spaces of time. It is a magical space, perfect for dreaming. I prefer to dream before I sleep. It makes each goal thoughtful, every story piecing together reality and truth with fantasy; what wondrous places our minds can create. Close your eyes. Wait. Keep them open. Rem cycles, completing the phases. I hate waking up. I think I'll dream a bit longer.

Dare to be Scared

Recently I have come to realize how much emotion scares me. Not to a point where I am afraid to feel, but just enough to wish I would. This sounds negative, maybe a downward progression, rest assured it is not. Actually it is good, because it is real. This fear is true, it is complex and confusing. It makes me laugh to think God knew this would happen....the twisting and turning of hearts, and mangled relationships, the tears, the pain...and then imagining that through it all we find happiness. What a trip. Joy? That in itself is just as hard to dive into. The idea that we are worthy of affirmation, maybe true love. And then again it could all be a myth. No. Impossible. It is all real. Emotions: pain, shame, grief, bliss. Feel, Fear, Dare. Dare to be scared, even if it is just for a moment.

Faith in

I was sitting today. Sitting, letting myself settle for a moment. Just one, and then the noise crawled into my thoughts; a pleasant visit. I watched each stranger trickle by my wandering eyes, my mind wandering with them. I wonder sometimes where people are going. Could I follow them. It almost seems a simpler route, just following... And then they break apart. Suddenly the one path becomes a stream of millions. Footprints, faces, voices, all traveling by way of their own intentions. Is it okay if my path stops here? Just for now, for a moment, I want to sit. I think it is okay. It is hard to say whether it is right or wrong. Whether it is what it should be, but if I am here it must be. So, here I will rest. Tomorrow may ask me to go, taking the tokens of my thoughts as I deposit them into this world, receiving only a few hours; tomorrow will take me back, away from this time. Time. Time to stay. I have settled for today.